Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Allentown to tax Turds

You can't say that the mayor is not original.

 Mayor Pawlowski announced today that the city is instituting a "TURD Tax". The city has contracted with one of his campaign donors to install Turd counters on all the toilets in the city. Property owners will be responsible for paying the $175 per toilet installation fee of the device that will monitor for turds.
   Former Mayor Roy Afflerbach has been appointed the Turd Czar, and will have a full complement of Turd compliance officers working under him. These officers will have the authority to inspect and ticket all places where toilets are not in compliance.
   Unlike the Blue uniformed officers of the parking authority, the Turd authority will wear brown uniforms and carry cattle prods.
   Critics have complained that this will only drive people to take their craps out in the suburbs, instead of the city, thus costing the City revenue in the long run.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

My Vision for Bike Paths

Sometime in the year 2020 the bike paths in the Allentown/Lehigh County park system will be expanded to allow cars.

  "Not everyone can ride a bike or walk a footpath, and we think allowing cars to drive through the parks will enhance the experience for residents" explained Mayor Weitzel. "We do plan a mandatory 75 MPH speed limit, allowing us to apply for Federal department of Transportation funds to pave and maintain the new roadway. We also haven't ruled out making it a TOLL Road."

  It's gonna happen, I'm tellin' you now. Lights in the Parkway was the first wave.

  The bad ideas and ignorance of the past from Mayor McCheese Pawlowski and his Shamburglars keeps surprising me. Here's an inconvenient tidbit from Mike Molovinsky's blog:


CONCLUSION FROM FATAL ACCIDENT IN TREXLER PARK IN 1989



"Last year, a consultant recommended in a study of Trexler Park that cyclists be banned.


Efforts to confine walkers and bicyclists to separate lanes have not been effective, and the cyclists are dangerous to pedestrians, the study, by Andropogon Associates Ltd. of Philadelphia, concluded. "
 
   If it was such a bad idea in 1989, why is it a great idea now? It isn't.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Poofin' the Hoopty

My Wife has made a slight suggestion that I have decided to follow. She doesn't mind my bloggin' but she wants me to quit tradin' barbs with the troll.

  She doesn't want me gettin' down in the gutter with him. Some of the other Blog people want me to ignore him and go back to my clown postings.

  I'm gonna POOF those couple of posts and stop right there. I'm not pullin' an LVCI and bailin' all the way even though I respect the guy. LVCI did what he thought best for him. I'm doing what's best for me. (and to please my other half, I admit it.)

The Clowns are still gonna catch hell. Troll can claim whatever he wants, but they got a point. He ain't worth the bother, and we are gonna move.