Mayor Pawlowski Presents: Allentown Dinner Theater!

     This just in from WFMZ: Allentown has booming Restaurant/Theater District!

The Things you learn watching TV at dinner time. WFMZ had a report starring, (YOU GUESSED IT!) Mayor for Life Ed Pawlowski touting how the center city is being overrun with restaurants.

    What WFMZ neglected to show at the 5 PM newscast Tuesday was that just one block north of Hamilton Street, a fight had broken out between 25 to 30 "Yutes" on Linden Street between 7th and 8th Streets. At least 4 suffered knife wounds, and one of those needed emergency surgery at Lehigh valley Cedar Crest.

   I guess that is all part of the Cosmopolitan theater district that the Pawloski administration is trying to create. Those kids weren't engaging in a gang related incident. They were really practicing scenes from the movie and Broadway Smash, "West Side Story" and got carried away. I bet if it weren't for the accidental stabbings, WFMZ might have arrived there in time to see a pregnant 15 year old girl do her avant garde rendition of Natalie Wood's role as Maria. God knows they did a great job reenacting the end of the show up to that point, except thank God the kid hasn't died.

    Looks like the show is closing after only one off off off off Broadway performance on Linden Street.

    You know what that means it is time for.....

    Send in the Clowns!

Hockey In Allentown. Taking the slashing in the streets, and putting it on Ice

   I am scratching my head/

  We went almost three months in Pennsylvania without a State Budget. Local school districts started cutting programs daily.
  All I saw on TV was about how there was no Money for schools.

  Somehow after all that there is money for a Hockey arena in Allentown?

  WTF?

  Where did that money come from?

  Mayor Pawloski, now running unopposed, smiled for the camera and touted it as his latest success.

  Fu***n' unbelievable!

  Another day, another Dog and pony show, followed by smoke and mirrors.

  I am not amused, nor am I entertained

  Send in the Clowns. and while you are at it, figure out where to park the clown car where the Allentown parking authority can't finda reason to put a ticket on it.

Allentown Voters are screwed on November 3

   Man, this election is not funny at all. We, the good citizens of the third largest city in Taxylvania are F*cked! We have a choice between Mr. Powerpoint Presentation and Mr. Facebook Fun.

  That is no choice at all.

  I read who is running for City Council, and all I see is Yes men for Mr. Powerpoint Presentation.

 It's like Pawlowski went around the city shining his laser pointer in everybody's eyes and blinded them to the truth about Allentown's money problems.

  Pawlowski reminds me of the Pied Piper of Hamlin, and he is leading his slate of council candidates dancing happily down the road and into hell.

We are so screwed. Send in the Clowns?

Hell they are all we have on the ballot.

Circus Maximus comes to Allentown

Man, you gotta be kidding me.

The man is running for mayor and talking to some unhappy baby mama on Facebook about tossing the Salad? That is news?

I guess a city ten million dollars in the red 'taint all that big an issue. I guess impending layoffs and cutbacks on city services aren't that important.

I was in the downtown library, and they have half the lights off and no security. There was a dice game going on in the back. Like I am going to let the wife go there with the kids alone?

  But I am sure we will get a big press release announcement from Mayor Laser Pointer about the next big initiative to spur development on Hamilton Street. The only way I am ever going to get a break on my taxes is to open a brothel/spa on Hamilton Street and call it an avant garde Performance art piece.

   The Race for Allentown mayor is over, The Tony Phillips act bombed.

Send in the Clowns

The Lehigh Valley needs some humor.

I decided it was time to fill a void in the Lehigh Valley and beyond. Nobody wants to really take a shot at properly snarking many of the politicians and bureaucrats in the valley.
I volunteer to be that person! I don't have any friends anyway, so what do I have to loose?

We should be laughing at all the people who think they are important, and want to remind us everyday that we should know how important they are.

I am starting off today by commenting on Allentown Park Director Greg Weitzel's plan to save the park system he has been entrusted with, in particular, Cedar Beach between Broadway and Hamilton Boulevard.

A long time ago, the American Military adopted a strategy in Vietnam of destroying a village to save it. It was insanity, and it was abandoned.

Who would have thought of using that strategy on a beautiful Rose garden? Hell, who needs bull dozers, Greg, just go ahead and napalm the damn thing while you are at it, might get rid of the goose crap problem as well.

It kills me that proponents accuse those against the idea of making the park playground handicap accessible of being against "kids." You know, "it's always for the kids." The people against the playground are also , and say it quietly, subtly, people.... RACISTS!

Meanwhile, the anti-playground/remodel/chainsaw trees/ riparian buffers/ I don't know what the hell is going on forces say they are not racists, they only want to protect the integrity of the park, don't want it over utilized, but admit they fear for their property values.

Here is what they are really afraid of:

The folks of Allentowns' West End that live near Cedar Beach park are afraid that a gang of Hispanic kids in Wheelchairs are going to be regularly throwing down with a gang of black autistic kids, when they are not having rumbles with the ADHD white kids driving down from their trailer parks in their 1991 Dodge Dakotas.

You know it will happen, honestly, and the police won't be able to handle it.

You give autistic kids weapons, and put droolers in mechanized wheelchairs rolling down a macadam path, and you have an arcade game that the third graders with a drivers license won't be able to resist.

Greg Weitzel has declared War on park blight, if he and his grand plans are to be believed.

If you ask me, (and I know you wouldn't) all he has done is make himself look busy, but that is what bureaucrats do, right?

And where is Mayoral challenger Tony Phillips while all this is going down? This guy is hiding better than Hitler in his bunker in April of 1945.

I will get to Tony Phillips next time. As always, Lehigh Valley Politics is a circus, and it is time to Send in the Clowns.