Allentown to tax Turds

You can't say that the mayor is not original.

 Mayor Pawlowski announced today that the city is instituting a "TURD Tax". The city has contracted with one of his campaign donors to install Turd counters on all the toilets in the city. Property owners will be responsible for paying the $175 per toilet installation fee of the device that will monitor for turds.
   Former Mayor Roy Afflerbach has been appointed the Turd Czar, and will have a full complement of Turd compliance officers working under him. These officers will have the authority to inspect and ticket all places where toilets are not in compliance.
   Unlike the Blue uniformed officers of the parking authority, the Turd authority will wear brown uniforms and carry cattle prods.
   Critics have complained that this will only drive people to take their craps out in the suburbs, instead of the city, thus costing the City revenue in the long run.

My Vision for Bike Paths

Sometime in the year 2020 the bike paths in the Allentown/Lehigh County park system will be expanded to allow cars.

  "Not everyone can ride a bike or walk a footpath, and we think allowing cars to drive through the parks will enhance the experience for residents" explained Mayor Weitzel. "We do plan a mandatory 75 MPH speed limit, allowing us to apply for Federal department of Transportation funds to pave and maintain the new roadway. We also haven't ruled out making it a TOLL Road."

  It's gonna happen, I'm tellin' you now. Lights in the Parkway was the first wave.

  The bad ideas and ignorance of the past from Mayor McCheese Pawlowski and his Shamburglars keeps surprising me. Here's an inconvenient tidbit from Mike Molovinsky's blog:


CONCLUSION FROM FATAL ACCIDENT IN TREXLER PARK IN 1989



"Last year, a consultant recommended in a study of Trexler Park that cyclists be banned.


Efforts to confine walkers and bicyclists to separate lanes have not been effective, and the cyclists are dangerous to pedestrians, the study, by Andropogon Associates Ltd. of Philadelphia, concluded. "
 
   If it was such a bad idea in 1989, why is it a great idea now? It isn't.

Poofin' the Hoopty

My Wife has made a slight suggestion that I have decided to follow. She doesn't mind my bloggin' but she wants me to quit tradin' barbs with the troll.

  She doesn't want me gettin' down in the gutter with him. Some of the other Blog people want me to ignore him and go back to my clown postings.

  I'm gonna POOF those couple of posts and stop right there. I'm not pullin' an LVCI and bailin' all the way even though I respect the guy. LVCI did what he thought best for him. I'm doing what's best for me. (and to please my other half, I admit it.)

The Clowns are still gonna catch hell. Troll can claim whatever he wants, but they got a point. He ain't worth the bother, and we are gonna move.

Clowns, Clowns, everywhere a Clown!

Man, it has been a tough week for the people of our neighborhood. There's been a bunch of vandalism and break ins, but I haven't seen a damn thing about it in the Morning Caw.

  Speaking of the CAW, the city is suing them for asking to many damn questions and being too fuckin' nosy.

  The CAW reporter wants to see emails Mayor for life Pawlowski sent to all the clowns working under him. The naysayers on the Mayor for Life's team claim its a fishing expedition.

  I think Mayor for life is trying to hide what a deceitful lying piece of crap he is. I was wondering why Joyce Marin was so eager to get the fuck out of DODGE CITY Allentown and get to Spain. Where the rain falls mainly on the plain. Gonna be hard to question her , huh?

I'm not in a very good mood lately. I'm not getting much sleep. My work schedule is "in flux" and my wife went back to work. I wonder what people who don't have retired parents nearby to help care for their kids do? How do you afford that shit? I'm glad my in-laws are in Illinois, but I'm glad my parents are here in town.

   Obama's talking about doubling the child dependent deduction, and I am all for it. I admit it, it helps me. Do you blame me? Damn thing is Pawlowski will probably grab it to pay for another 50 administrators.
   What the fuck is up with raising the yearly rental inspection fee 500%? $15 to $75 is pretty fuckin' steep! Anything to make a buck, like that's gonna drive the riff raff out of DODGE Allentown?

   This morning I walked the dog at 4 am when I got home. When I got to her favorite spot in the Alley, I unzipped and drained a vein too. I want to see if neighbor boy goes out and tries to get a DNA sample from it. From what I read this morning, he was up all night in his basement practicing for his Mayfair gig.

   How much money does DODGE CITY Allentown give to support Mayfair? If they are paying the Trolls to perform, I am never attending that damn thing again. I don't want any of my taxes going to the Trolls. That really pisses me off. Fuckin Clowns are ruining everything, even Mayfair.

  My wife thinks we should move. I'm beginning to think we should.

City Without Limits? Are you Kidding Me?

I want to know how much this brilliant slogan cost us. The crack team at left is responsible for it.

City without Ammo Limits?

City without speed limits? City With Limited Intelligence?

City of Morons?

City of Special Needs?

That last one is perfect!

Allentown School Board Clowns approve Gambling!

 What the Fuck! These people are idiots! Did they not learn anything from what happened with the Bethlehem School District when they played with that SWAPTION crap?

  I can't fuckin' believe what I am reading in the Morning caw this morning. These maroons are making this bet (and its a multi million dollar bet!) and explaining that they have a couple million dollars in the bank to cover any market "swings."

  For Real? If you got a couple of mill lying around for that, why the fuck you raising our taxes over four percent?! The School district budget is $238 million dollars! The damn city isn't $100 million!

   My wife already explained to me that our daughter will be attending private school, if she has to pay for it herself. So much for getting my moneys worth from that shithole of an excuse for public education.  You know what ASD? Just give all the students guns and send them out into the neighborhood. That's pretty much what's going on anyway, so save us all some time, let the teachers collect their pensions, and may the last person with a job in Allentown carry the tax burden all by themself. I'm so pissed off I may do like everyone else and move to Emmaus.

Clowns want to ride their bicycles, and think we should pave the park so they can do it.

 Sorry I haven't posted much. Between the baby, the wife, and my need to buy stock in all diaper manufacturers I 've been busy.

  Yesterday the Morning CAW let some delusional liberal wacky wack post an editorial about how Allentown could be turned into Shangri-fuckin-la if only our city Clowns would take the advice of some outfit from North Carolina.

  One more fuckin' example of letting morons from a thousand miles away tell us what we should want.

 Let me sum it up for you and it won't cost you several hundred thousand dineros in consulting fees. I'll do it for free:

 WE DON"T NEED NO STINKIN' BIKEPATHS!

  You want to ride your bike, go out to the Helldrome in bumfuck Macungie. That's why Rodale built the damn thing. I already worry about cars when I'm walking on 19th street, the damn things can't stay off the curb. If you try and take a walk by Trexler's statue off Cedar Crest you have bike nuts whizzin' by as it is.

  I like PEDESTRIAN COMMUNITIES. That means walking to my store, my barber, and even for my beer at Volpe's. Hell if the city wants to fix something, fix the goddamn sidewalks. Try walking down Linden Street sometime from 7th heading west. You will see what I mean.

   For the love of God, why do we always talk about spending money to help the smallest fuckin' minority?
   This batwhacked plan of theirs isn't going to encourage anybody to ride their bike, its just gonna make the extremely small number speed demons who could give a fuck about my wife and I holding hands while walking a path more aggressive. Now we are going to be pushing a stroller when it gets warm, so I am gonna be worrying that they will knock my daughter into the air.What about my right to walk the park and not worry about getting slammed?
 
  Read Mike Molovinskys blog about where to go and bitch. I have a link to him on my page. It's this Wednesday. I think.