Mayor Pawlowski announced today that the city is instituting a "TURD Tax". The city has contracted with one of his campaign donors to install Turd counters on all the toilets in the city. Property owners will be responsible for paying the $175 per toilet installation fee of the device that will monitor for turds.
Former Mayor Roy Afflerbach has been appointed the Turd Czar, and will have a full complement of Turd compliance officers working under him. These officers will have the authority to inspect and ticket all places where toilets are not in compliance.
Unlike the Blue uniformed officers of the parking authority, the Turd authority will wear brown uniforms and carry cattle prods.
Critics have complained that this will only drive people to take their craps out in the suburbs, instead of the city, thus costing the City revenue in the long run.
They oughta call it the"villa Tax" Bill Villa is the biggest Turd in Allentown History.
ReplyDeleteHey Bill, What did Jeff pooley do to you? Did he say the word that all little infants don't like. did he say NO! to little Billy Villa?
I hear little Billy Villa isn't going to get to talk to any liberl friends either. Mean Old Ricky Daugherty told you "No Thanks!"
Poor Billy Villa, No Friends, No Life, No Soul. Too Bad.