Allentown City Council Choir Practice

I found a picture of Allentown City Council singing at a meeting in honor of Mayor for life Ed Pawlowski. I think it is an accurate portrayal, don't you?

   I hear the music was provided by some local group, Insane Villain Posse, or something like that. They are close friends of Ed's too.

  I wonder if I could rent them for a birthday party in a year or two. kids like clowns, right?

All I want for Christmas is my house back.

I can't wait for all these people to get out of my house and go home. Our daughter is the most beautiful baby in history. I am not arguing that. I would really like to get some sleep.

  Ever notice how all the people who come to help require the people they are there to help to work even harder? I do. I love my in laws, don't get me wrong, but I would love them even more if they would go back to Illinois. I have seven guests in my house.Dog is not happy, because she is sleeping in the basement until they leave. It is after 6 AM and I wish I was at the Ham fam with my budd's for Breakfast.

   Sorry, my wife has made me promise to not put any pictures of our baby up, even if she is the most stunning child in history. I am not allowed to write about her either. Parenthood changes everything. Last night Toyota drivin' Mom convinced my wife the internet is full of predators so I should never share too much personal info.So this is all you get.

   I gotta address nutso up the block, and his letter from Obama. I got the same letter, but I would never believe Obama personally sat down and wrote it just for me. And like nutso is ever gonna influence an election in this town. ONly way nutso affects an election is if they carve out a new precinct that lets him register all foo-foo, sasha, pat, and all his othe imaginary friends and they elect him their own  mayor. I am the mayor of my house, at least until my daughter starts voting. Dream on, crazy people.

   Hey nutso, it is 6:25, get in your Lamborghini Jetta and run down to the Hamfam with a couple of CD's, Maybe the Bloggin' vets group will buy you breakfast. You can have my seat. But you have to wear a clown hat. Oh wait, you are batshit nuts. You can leave you hat at home. What's your album called again? Nuts for life? I hope Donovan takes you to the cleaners.

Girl!!!!!!

 Yeah, I am a first time Dad at 44. I never thought that was going to happen. That ought give the clowns at the school district something to think about. My daughterwill be attending Allentown Public schools. Damn, that is some sweet revenge! Maybe now I will get my money's worth from the greedy bastards!

Mayor Pawlowski's secret budget cuts

I have received a secret memo from my sources indicating that as part of the Mayor's top secret plan to balance Allentown's budget he will be reducing the size of the Police Swat team. Pictured here is the team that the new budget authorizes.

  The funding announced by President Obama ten days ago is to be diverted for other, more pressing needs. (paving over the Rose Garden)

Starting today: The Twelve Years of Pawlowski!

In the First year of Pawlowski, my Mayor gave to me.......


  A bright and shiny new......

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mayor Pawlowski's newest strategic vision for the Lehigh Riverfront.

Now that we have established thousands of new revenue creating parking meters are to be placed downtown, it is important to know just who will get the jobs created by those meters.

I present to you the Pawlowski Parking Patrol, some of the best patronage jobs your donation to the Friends of Ed Pawlowski can buy.

This image was taken from the powerpoint presentation by the mayor envisioning what the riverfront might look like in by 2021, if current global warming trends continue.

Allentown's new revenue solution: Many meters on every parking spot!

As part of his plan to increase city revenues without raising taxes, Mayor for Life Pawlowski announced today that the city would arbitrarily be placing extra pay meters at every available parking spot.

  In the spirit of legalized gambling though, only one of them will work. But he warned would be parkers that it would be best to put money in each one, to be sure.

  "If one is expired, our meter maids have been instructed to ticket as if all the meters are expired. For example, if your spot has the recommended twelve meters on it, and one expires, you will get twelve tickets. We expect this to help improve our revenue stream immediately."

There is no word yet on rumors that some meters will be modified to also function as slot machines, but the legislation is in a subcommittee at the State Hospital Capitol awaiting approval.

Mayor Pawlowski reaches out to Vatican for assistance fighting Crime in Allentown

In a statement released this Morning, Allentown Mayor Ed Pawlowski finally conceded what residents have known all along.

"It Ain't fuckin' safe out there."

 Mayor Pawlowski is worried about the perception that Allentown is too dangerous for outsiders to invest in, so he isn't waiting for money from President Obama.

Mayor Pawlowski has made a deal with Pope Benedict, and in exchange for several city properties that haven't been sold, The Pope's vaunted Super Secret Service, the "Black Nunjas" will be deployed on inner city streets from dusk until dawn.

  These Nuns are famed for their fearlessness, having survived a training boot camp overseen by the most elderly of nuns who taught in the middle of America's most poverty stricken communities.
 "They are perfect for the problem" remarked community activist and Mayoral critic Mike Molovinsky.
 "They are renowned for their marksmanship with the Glock 19 and can stop a speeding car in it's tracks."

  The deal was originally set to begin on January first, but the death of a pedestrian yesterday in front of a Catholic church alarmed Vatican officials, and they offered to come in three weeks early.

 The Patrols are set to start Thursday December 10, and will continue as long as needed. Fraternal Order of Police Union officials were silent on the matter, not wishing to unleash a backlash like the one thrown at SEIU officials who criticized a boy scout for clearing trails. Political observers quietly claim that it would be in the police department's best interest not to make a comparison between clearing a few overgrown trails and the challenge of clearing the city's bullet ridden streets.

  "We understand they will supplement our patrols, and we fully respect their abilities." This from a police officer who did not wish to be identified. "Christ, Nuns with guns? I ain't bad mouthin' them," said another.
  "We will take all the help we can get."

   No word yet on whether the nuns will provide day patrols in the school zones, but parents are hopeful that might happen as well.

  One late addition to the agreement. Mayor Pawlowski has to wear a clown suit and allow citizens to throw pies at him for one hour at noon everyday during the week. I want to be first in line!

Insane Clown Posse in Allentown tonight! I didn't know the Mayor and Council did gangsta rap!

  Oh, Man, I am ready for some more football after shoveling the snow, but I was reading my newspaper, and there's a story here about the Insane Clown Posse doing a show in Allentown tonight!

   Didn't the mayor just do a show at City Hall on Tuesday night?

   Insane Clown Posse! What a great name for Mayor Pawlowski and his posse on council!

   Hey I bet I know the opening Act! What are the Villas doing tonight?

  I had to throw that one in there! If I wasn't watching Texas and Nebraska, I would be heading down! I wonder if the Mayor is planning on using the proceeds to help with the budget? Nah, that's why Obama was here!

My identity crisis and the blog with 350 million comments

  Damn, it's bad enough I have to look in the mirror everyday and see my scars. I am used to it, and my wife sees what is behind them so it is cool.
  But now this Bill Villa turd is accusing me of being Chris Casey.

  Chris is one of my few buds. When Uncle Sam released me, he didn't walk away when I came to the support group. He shook my hand.

  I admit I get pissed off and let Villa push my buttons when he ripped Casey on the blogs. All this year I have been reading trash on my man, but the guy doesn't let it faze him. I wish I had that, the superpower to just blow it all off.

    I don't know what to do, but I was reading facebook, about how they have 350 million users.

  That's is nothing, Bill Turd Villa has 350 million comments on his blog. 349,999,999 of them are by him and his wife. Now I feel better. fuck him if he can't take a joke.

Mayor Pawlowski: The Mayor of God!

Every time I see this picture, I think of Drew Carey hosting the Price is Right Game Show.

  Doesn't it remind you of him? It does me!

  Yesterday the Mayor went to the land of Delusional Liars (Washington D.C.) and today our Glorious Ruler Obama the Omnipotent  is returning the favor.

  Math is not these guys best subject.

  There was all kinds of bitching and moaning and self flagellation by City Council, but after the weeping and wailing ended, the mayor's budget will likely take effect on December 15.

   I thought I knew my math, but if you budget 81 million, and only receive 74 million, I see you as being short 7 million. but in Pawlowski approved finance world, some how that is a balanced budget.

  I think I figured it out though. Pawlowski is counting on the shortfall raining from the sky. i have a feeling that our Mayor believes he is God's chosen mayor, and that God will not let him down.

  I bow my head in a prayer of Thanksgiving, and ask God above forgiveness for not realizing the blessedness of his holy Mayor, Edwin Pawlowski. I called him a clown, I guess I am going to have to do a few extra centuries in Purgatory for that one!

  I just hope God thinks to get that manna (money) from heaven flowing before we have to make another interest payment on that "cash reserve."