Allentown City Council Choir Practice

I found a picture of Allentown City Council singing at a meeting in honor of Mayor for life Ed Pawlowski. I think it is an accurate portrayal, don't you?

   I hear the music was provided by some local group, Insane Villain Posse, or something like that. They are close friends of Ed's too.

  I wonder if I could rent them for a birthday party in a year or two. kids like clowns, right?

All I want for Christmas is my house back.

I can't wait for all these people to get out of my house and go home. Our daughter is the most beautiful baby in history. I am not arguing that. I would really like to get some sleep.

  Ever notice how all the people who come to help require the people they are there to help to work even harder? I do. I love my in laws, don't get me wrong, but I would love them even more if they would go back to Illinois. I have seven guests in my house.Dog is not happy, because she is sleeping in the basement until they leave. It is after 6 AM and I wish I was at the Ham fam with my budd's for Breakfast.

   Sorry, my wife has made me promise to not put any pictures of our baby up, even if she is the most stunning child in history. I am not allowed to write about her either. Parenthood changes everything. Last night Toyota drivin' Mom convinced my wife the internet is full of predators so I should never share too much personal info.So this is all you get.

   I gotta address nutso up the block, and his letter from Obama. I got the same letter, but I would never believe Obama personally sat down and wrote it just for me. And like nutso is ever gonna influence an election in this town. ONly way nutso affects an election is if they carve out a new precinct that lets him register all foo-foo, sasha, pat, and all his othe imaginary friends and they elect him their own  mayor. I am the mayor of my house, at least until my daughter starts voting. Dream on, crazy people.

   Hey nutso, it is 6:25, get in your Lamborghini Jetta and run down to the Hamfam with a couple of CD's, Maybe the Bloggin' vets group will buy you breakfast. You can have my seat. But you have to wear a clown hat. Oh wait, you are batshit nuts. You can leave you hat at home. What's your album called again? Nuts for life? I hope Donovan takes you to the cleaners.

Girl!!!!!!

 Yeah, I am a first time Dad at 44. I never thought that was going to happen. That ought give the clowns at the school district something to think about. My daughterwill be attending Allentown Public schools. Damn, that is some sweet revenge! Maybe now I will get my money's worth from the greedy bastards!

Mayor Pawlowski's secret budget cuts

I have received a secret memo from my sources indicating that as part of the Mayor's top secret plan to balance Allentown's budget he will be reducing the size of the Police Swat team. Pictured here is the team that the new budget authorizes.

  The funding announced by President Obama ten days ago is to be diverted for other, more pressing needs. (paving over the Rose Garden)

Starting today: The Twelve Years of Pawlowski!

In the First year of Pawlowski, my Mayor gave to me.......


  A bright and shiny new......

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mayor Pawlowski's newest strategic vision for the Lehigh Riverfront.

Now that we have established thousands of new revenue creating parking meters are to be placed downtown, it is important to know just who will get the jobs created by those meters.

I present to you the Pawlowski Parking Patrol, some of the best patronage jobs your donation to the Friends of Ed Pawlowski can buy.

This image was taken from the powerpoint presentation by the mayor envisioning what the riverfront might look like in by 2021, if current global warming trends continue.

Allentown's new revenue solution: Many meters on every parking spot!

As part of his plan to increase city revenues without raising taxes, Mayor for Life Pawlowski announced today that the city would arbitrarily be placing extra pay meters at every available parking spot.

  In the spirit of legalized gambling though, only one of them will work. But he warned would be parkers that it would be best to put money in each one, to be sure.

  "If one is expired, our meter maids have been instructed to ticket as if all the meters are expired. For example, if your spot has the recommended twelve meters on it, and one expires, you will get twelve tickets. We expect this to help improve our revenue stream immediately."

There is no word yet on rumors that some meters will be modified to also function as slot machines, but the legislation is in a subcommittee at the State Hospital Capitol awaiting approval.

Mayor Pawlowski reaches out to Vatican for assistance fighting Crime in Allentown

In a statement released this Morning, Allentown Mayor Ed Pawlowski finally conceded what residents have known all along.

"It Ain't fuckin' safe out there."

 Mayor Pawlowski is worried about the perception that Allentown is too dangerous for outsiders to invest in, so he isn't waiting for money from President Obama.

Mayor Pawlowski has made a deal with Pope Benedict, and in exchange for several city properties that haven't been sold, The Pope's vaunted Super Secret Service, the "Black Nunjas" will be deployed on inner city streets from dusk until dawn.

  These Nuns are famed for their fearlessness, having survived a training boot camp overseen by the most elderly of nuns who taught in the middle of America's most poverty stricken communities.
 "They are perfect for the problem" remarked community activist and Mayoral critic Mike Molovinsky.
 "They are renowned for their marksmanship with the Glock 19 and can stop a speeding car in it's tracks."

  The deal was originally set to begin on January first, but the death of a pedestrian yesterday in front of a Catholic church alarmed Vatican officials, and they offered to come in three weeks early.

 The Patrols are set to start Thursday December 10, and will continue as long as needed. Fraternal Order of Police Union officials were silent on the matter, not wishing to unleash a backlash like the one thrown at SEIU officials who criticized a boy scout for clearing trails. Political observers quietly claim that it would be in the police department's best interest not to make a comparison between clearing a few overgrown trails and the challenge of clearing the city's bullet ridden streets.

  "We understand they will supplement our patrols, and we fully respect their abilities." This from a police officer who did not wish to be identified. "Christ, Nuns with guns? I ain't bad mouthin' them," said another.
  "We will take all the help we can get."

   No word yet on whether the nuns will provide day patrols in the school zones, but parents are hopeful that might happen as well.

  One late addition to the agreement. Mayor Pawlowski has to wear a clown suit and allow citizens to throw pies at him for one hour at noon everyday during the week. I want to be first in line!

Insane Clown Posse in Allentown tonight! I didn't know the Mayor and Council did gangsta rap!

  Oh, Man, I am ready for some more football after shoveling the snow, but I was reading my newspaper, and there's a story here about the Insane Clown Posse doing a show in Allentown tonight!

   Didn't the mayor just do a show at City Hall on Tuesday night?

   Insane Clown Posse! What a great name for Mayor Pawlowski and his posse on council!

   Hey I bet I know the opening Act! What are the Villas doing tonight?

  I had to throw that one in there! If I wasn't watching Texas and Nebraska, I would be heading down! I wonder if the Mayor is planning on using the proceeds to help with the budget? Nah, that's why Obama was here!

My identity crisis and the blog with 350 million comments

  Damn, it's bad enough I have to look in the mirror everyday and see my scars. I am used to it, and my wife sees what is behind them so it is cool.
  But now this Bill Villa turd is accusing me of being Chris Casey.

  Chris is one of my few buds. When Uncle Sam released me, he didn't walk away when I came to the support group. He shook my hand.

  I admit I get pissed off and let Villa push my buttons when he ripped Casey on the blogs. All this year I have been reading trash on my man, but the guy doesn't let it faze him. I wish I had that, the superpower to just blow it all off.

    I don't know what to do, but I was reading facebook, about how they have 350 million users.

  That's is nothing, Bill Turd Villa has 350 million comments on his blog. 349,999,999 of them are by him and his wife. Now I feel better. fuck him if he can't take a joke.

Mayor Pawlowski: The Mayor of God!

Every time I see this picture, I think of Drew Carey hosting the Price is Right Game Show.

  Doesn't it remind you of him? It does me!

  Yesterday the Mayor went to the land of Delusional Liars (Washington D.C.) and today our Glorious Ruler Obama the Omnipotent  is returning the favor.

  Math is not these guys best subject.

  There was all kinds of bitching and moaning and self flagellation by City Council, but after the weeping and wailing ended, the mayor's budget will likely take effect on December 15.

   I thought I knew my math, but if you budget 81 million, and only receive 74 million, I see you as being short 7 million. but in Pawlowski approved finance world, some how that is a balanced budget.

  I think I figured it out though. Pawlowski is counting on the shortfall raining from the sky. i have a feeling that our Mayor believes he is God's chosen mayor, and that God will not let him down.

  I bow my head in a prayer of Thanksgiving, and ask God above forgiveness for not realizing the blessedness of his holy Mayor, Edwin Pawlowski. I called him a clown, I guess I am going to have to do a few extra centuries in Purgatory for that one!

  I just hope God thinks to get that manna (money) from heaven flowing before we have to make another interest payment on that "cash reserve."

 


 

News from 2013: Pawlowski asks Obama for 40,000 troops?

    We are back from the Inlaws! I learned a big lesson this year, take your flight home on the Friday after Thanksgiving! It was on time, and we made all our connections. I just don't understand how it is cheaper to fly from Chicago to Philadelphia through Atlanta than direct.

   I hooked my computer up to my Wife's crystal ball, and this is sort of what I got off the associated Press Wire.

WASHINGTON — President Barack Obama is nearing a decision to add tens of thousands more forces to Afghanistan, Allentown, though likely not quite the 40,000 sought by the mayor there, as Pentagon planners work to ready bases and provide equipment the troops would need in a country  city with scant resources.



The White House emphasized Monday that the president hasn’t made a decision yet about troop levels or other aspects of the revised U.S. strategy in Afghanistan. Allentown


Administration officials told The Associated Press on Monday the deployment would most likely begin in January 2014 with a mission to stiffen the defence of 10 key cities neighborhoods and towns.blocks. An Army brigade that had been training for deployment to Iraq  Bolivia that month may be the vanguard. The brigade, based at Fort Drum in upstate New York, has been told it will not go to Iraq Bolivia as planned but has been given no new mission yet.


White House spokesman Robert Gibbs said the president would meet again on Wednesday with key members of his domestic policy and military team but was unlikely to announce final plans for Afghanistan Allentown until late this month, when he returns from an extended diplomatic trip to Asia. Texas


Gibbs said the Pentagon is “working on additional recommendations” to present to Obama and that Obama has made no decision on troop numbers, or even on what the ratio should be between combat troops and trainers.


Military officials said Obama will have choices that include a phased addition of up to 40,000 troops over some six months or more next year, based on security conditions and the decisions of his French allies.

Mayor for lofe Pawlowski welcomed the news, and said he hoped that the President would approve the use of Special forces black ops teams to hunt down and bring the known insurrectionists in the city to justice.
 
   "Our police force, while up to a full strength of 189 officers, has been unable to track down Scott Armstrong, the secretive "third Baseman" or other rabble rousers like that damned Molovinsky. The addition of 40,000 troops provided by the President will allow us to crush the dissent and ensure that Allentown remains a Democratic Party stronghold." The Mayor also added:  "We hope to have an agreement with South Whitehall Township very soon that will allow us to cross the border and attack them in their base of operations."

   Come 2013, don't say I didn't tell you so!

   I know Homey the Clown was Hopeless, but Krusty can't tell 79 million from 72 million. Can you imagine Pawlowski with military forces at his disposal? General Krusty the Klown!

Could the Lights in the Parkway Nightmare be ending?

Man, I am working really hard this week, getting ready for Turkey Day next week, so I haven't been diligent (another big word!) in reading the blogs.
   After dinner I was catching on up with them all, and while reading Lehigh Valley Ramblings I learned that at Tuesday nights' City Council meeting Councilman Pete Schweyer (Pictured at left with my so-so state representative) had suggested that the City end the Yuletide crap in the park.

HOO-FUCKIN-RAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a fuckin' boondoggle that clusterfuck in the park is! They ruin Little Lehigh in the Winter with that crap! I hope they do this, and bag all that light crap!

Pete Schweyer, you are my hero! Now do something about your boss, will ya? She ain't that bright either.

Mayor Pawlowski and his Crazy Clown Team

Think Mayor Pawlowski in the middle, with his Blogger Crazy team flanking him.

For whatever reason, my neighbors here in Allentown reelected Ed Pawlowski as mayor on November third. Hey, majority rules, I have to live with it, at least until I hit the lottery in UK or Ireland, or Swaziland, right?

What's pissing me off now is all the trash talking that is being done, and was done, and is still coming from people who support him. And two of these people (Bill and Angie Villa) are doing it while claiming it is their right of free speech. These two people are holding themselves up as some kind of pillars of virtue. Like they, and only they, have a right to speak.
They are two of the most vocal supporters of our Mayor on the Internet, and in the Blog world in particular. They repeatedly post a picture of Angie Villa with the mayor, to show how much they are in favor with the Mayor.
It is only a photograph, but the way they use it, it conveys that they have the full support of the Mayor in their actions. I want you to think about what the Villas are doing on blogs, and decide for yourselves if what these CLOWNS are doing is so sanctimonious. I want people to decide if they think these two blog clowns are doing the Mayor Clown's bidding.
For starters:

Posting THOUSANDS of Comments on every local blog, mostly off topic, condemning a Valley resident (Blogger Bernie O'Hare) for a mistake he made almost 25 years ago. It has nothing to do with the death of the Villa's daughter, I think it has everything to do with O'Hare's criticism of Mayor Pawlowski on his blog. They keep asserting he hasn't been rehabilitated. If anybody needs rehabilitation, I think those two should try it. I can't read a single local blog that hasn't had to go to some kind of blocking to stop them. That is rude that they do that.

Then there is the Hammering and slamming of a sitting City Councilman (Michael Donovan) for standing up to their hate attacks. They even mocked him over his posting about a daughter of his who died. (As if they are the only people allowed to grieve for a daughter who died young?) I think, again, that it is all about trashing Donovan because he stands up to the mayor, and I think they do it on the mayor's behalf. They swear they have the power to keep him from being reelected. I hope not.

They also regularly engage in Belittling and mocking a community activist (Mike Molovinsky) who stands up for what he believes in. He is another guy who questions what the Mayor is doing, and so is another target of the Villas nasty sniping and misrepresentation.

And then there are my Army Veteran friends, like Chris Casey and The Volvo driving Soccer Mom. The Villas accuse them of unsubstantiated crimes like "Viewing their blog" and "disagreeing with them. They posted photos that portrayed Chris and Carrie as humongous fat people, to try and provoke them. I got news for the Villas, all it did was make us all laugh.
All those pictures and slams the Villas posted did was show just what petty and small minded morons they are. And Damn, what is the point of the blog if they don't want people reading it?

Maybe They don't want the wrong people, you know, people who don't agree with them, to read their blog, is that what it is? That would make sense!

The Villas are not acting like very nice people. I could list other targets of their hatred, like a Lynn Township attorney Dave Najarian, Allentown Activist Alfonso Todd, who Villa labeled an "uncle Tom" and even our District Attorney Jim Martin, who has been the target of Villas wrath because he didn't take the drunk driver who was responsible for the death of Sheena Villa and summarily execute him in public.

Chris Casey told me the reason he won't help the Villas in their crusade is because Bill Villa does not want justice, he wants vengeance. I read their blog, and I saw the ten million word litany of hate directed against individuals employed at the daily paper, and if I were an editor or reporter at the paper, I wouldn't meet with somebody who posted my picture on the Internet and called me a liar either.

I almost forgot, they even trashed a young man studying to be a priest because he defended some of these people, and made fun of his religious faith, they still post his picture and label him a "cuckoo cleric." But I bet the Bill and Angie Villa go batwhacky for me pointing out what they are doing. How dare I call them crazy! The right to trash people is theirs, and theirs alone! Only they can call people crap, don't do it to them, or they will go all "pity us, our daughter died" mode.

That is over with. The death of a loved one is no excuse to practice what Bill and Angie Villa are doing.

I think Mayor Pawlowski is using Bill Villa's thirst for vengeance as a weapon against his local political opponents. including the paper. I don't pretend to know all about Villa or the Mayor, or Jim Martin, or Bernie O'Hare, but I do know what I see in front of me. Every one of Bill Villa's targets have one thing in common, they all have challenged Ed Pawlowski in some way.

Mr. Mayor, I have a question, an excellent question as your blog pal and the person you gave an exclusive interview to would say.

ARE YOU ENCOURAGING THE ACTIONS OF BILL AND ANGIE VILLA AS THEY CYBER BULLY ALL YOUR PERCEIVED POLITICAL ENEMIES?

You seem to benefit from their Blog bullying. Mr. Mayor, and you have remained pretty quiet while they launch attack after attack that you benefit from.

Don't you think you owe it to the people you govern to stand up and condemn these attacks?
You have a degree from a bible college, right? Is this the kind of behavior they teach you to accept there? I would like to know what you would tell your two kids about what the Villas are doing Mr. Mayor, and how you would explain to them that you can say nothing while people are being intimidated by someone who hints they have your support.

I have the blog moderator's word that she will not edit a response from your office in any way, and post it exactly as you write it. We would like to hear from you Mr. Mayor. Please tell me that you do not support the actions of the Villas, because your silence while they attack your opposition on your behalf with lies and insults says you do.

Mayor McCheese Pawlowski needs to denounce his Crazy Team

I am amazed at the scope of what Mayor McCheese will allow his supporters to do. My case in point is the people who post a blog called Lehigh Valley Somebody. The whack job who runs its has all the other bloggers quakin'.
I could give a rats ass. Nutjobs don't know me from Adam, so I got nuthin' to fear.
These people think they are like real important in city politics. and that they can make or break political people in this town. That's like saying

Election Sucked

Okay, I haven't got all day, who

wants to guess whose pocket I had my hand in?

   I might as well have voted for Pip the freaking mouse yesterday. If we didn't have it so good that we can both walk to work and the market, I would move the hell out of Allentown tomorrow. I'm sure I could get a good price on the crib from a New Yakker.

  I think the cumulative IQ of the inner city dwellers averages about the level that water freezes solid. If the answer to everything, according to Author Douglas Adams is 42, then the average Allentonian is 10 points lower than that.

  How did 7800+ people walk into a voting booth and press the box next to Uncle Fester/Bozo/Krusty's name? I understand why anybody named Pawlowski did it, they are all mentally challenged, and math, if the city budget is any indication, isn't their strong suit. But what the hell about the rest of you?

   It wasn't like it was a pop quiz where you had to use the formula to figure out Cole Hamels ERA. All you had to do is understand that the mayor turned a few million dollars in debt into $60 million spread over decades, and that the city was $6 Mill in the hole last year, and another $10 million this year!

   How hard was that?! And we have to pay it people, that is OUR BILL! Yet you handout helpers voted to give him four more years! What, you want to see if he can get the debt up to a $Billion by then?!

   I'm really bummed, I am going to have to go to the circus to cheer me up. I hope the clowns are good. Now that we have elected Sideshow Bob Schlossberg and Clarabelle O'Connell to Council, maybe they will put out a set of bobbleheads for citizens to collect. I am so pissed. At least I get a few months without clowns coming to my door to ask for my vote.

  

Voodoo at the Voting Booth

   Rumor has it that Walter Felton is pulling out all the stops to defeat Ron Manescu for District Magisterial Justice. Reports are coming in that Voodoo dolls resembling Manescu are popping up all over Allentown in front of polling places. They are almost as numerous as Walter Felton's campaign signs. After a prankster set one of the dolls on fire, Manescu reported having unexplained "Hot Flashes."

   Watch 69 news for more on this at 11.

   More updates later

Uncle Fester's reelection as mayor is pretty much assured

  Mayor Fester Pawlowski is going to win. I have been watching the polls all morning, and voting in the West End Cemetery Ward has been very heavy. The dead have been rising all day and coming in to vote, almost all bearing "Reelect Ed! stickers on their rotting corpses.

   A few unexperienced poll workers were eaten in the first hours, but once the cart of hog brains was put in front of the church, the trouble stopped.  More reports later.

King Edwin puts his family on TV!

   Last night I was sitting in front of my TV, watching the Channel 69 happy time news, when immediately after sports I was submitted to a sight I could not believe. The smirking members of the Pawlowski family, all four of them.
  Did you know that not only is Ed our mayor, but he also lives in Allentown?

  How frickin' noble of him to live among us peasants! The feudal Lord getting on down with the poor!

  And then he is going on about how the City has a balanced budget!

  Get the hell out!

  I hope he isn't teaching his kids the same Math that he is using! How the hell does he go on TV and say this stuff?! This guy is absolutely incredible! Does having his wife and kids on the couch with him while he spouts this crap about a balanced budget make it any more believable to you?

   It sure as hell don't to me!

   And the whole family is smirking, even the wife and kids! My wife made me laugh out loud, because she was shaking her head. "That poor girl, looking like her father, now that's a curse!"

   I know, I know, don't pick on the guys' kids, but Christ, if he don't want to have them as targets, don't use them as shields in your campaign commercials. King Ed is no better than that Balloon family, using his kids like that.

   I always wondered what Bozo the Clown's family looked like, now I know. If they do a follow up commercial, maybe the wife and kids could all put on clown white face and big red bulbous noses that light up when the mayor starts speaking or lying. (So they will be lit up all the time)
   Knowing his majesty, he will probably call it part of a green intiative or some crap.

  So I can't wait for the next 30 or 60 second episode of King Ed's Howdy Doody show. maybe the Queen will dress up as Clarabelle. I am on the edge of my seat, how about you?!

City Council Clowns/Candidates have no Clue

   This Morning I open up the plastic bag on my porch/lawn/somwhere and pull out my daily paper and read THIS by Jarrett Renshaw 
   The guy writes this article about how last year the city was six million in the hole, (That's one Bionic Steve Austin) and this year it will be nine million in the hole. (That's one Jaime Sommers, the Bionic woman, three years later, with inflation.)
   Didn't we just have a mayoral debate on live TV where the mayor said everything was wonderful, that there was no deficit?
   What am I missing here? The Mayor lies, and the newspaper is calling out the City Council candidates?
 
   Only two of the 6 candidates are incumbents, Mike and Julio, who are running a crap game with the mayor's blessing down by the school yard, just ask Paul Simon.

   Julio has suggested that taxes might have to be raised to fix the budget. Why would he care? He will just get a big fat COLA raise from the bridge committee and that will take care of his problem. The rest of us can just boil cabbage in a pot to eat, while the Bridge commission has catered affairs and receptions on how to spend or invest hundreds of millions in tolls.

   The Used car salesman, Mike Schlossberg, admits his plan won't do much, but he has that chamber of commerce job, so he won't be sweating. I think he rents a house and doesn't own it in Allentown. Not that it makes a difference, but I would feel better about him as a candidate if I knew he had firmer roots. I can't help but think he will pull a Cunningham and head for bigger things if they happen to come along.

   I was all set to vote for O'Connell, but now he goes all His majesty's party line and says raising taxes should be considered, as a Last Resort. Hell no, Ray, get rid of those 25 administrative positions in city hall first before you raise my taxes. Cut the Mayor's posse down to size. If that is good enough to fund some cops, why not just do it anyway and save some money?

   What really kills me about all these clowns are how they are supposed to be so smart and college educated. D'Amore is a college professor. Guridy has a degree from ESU, even though he can't speak English. Schlossberg is like a puppy, following his master, and O'Conneell seems to be bringing that same genius he exhibited on the ASD board to City Hall. NO THANK YOU, CLOWNS
  For as smart as all these guys claim to be, the most intelligent thing I have read in the entire campaign came from Joe Brudnak, the blue collar guy that drives a fuel truck.

    "I know that in my house I don't spend more than I earn."

 And he didn't need a college degree to know that!

   It is too bad that on election day we will probably elect a bunch of college educated clowns without a lick of common sense, who follow the marching orders of a mayor who plays three card monte with budget figures.
   It's too bad we can't do what NBC did with a TV show before it aired, and cancel the election, and start all over with new candidates. These candidates have about as much clue to balance the city budget as Ronald McDonald has to make a Big Mac. But his Majesty Ed's horses and all of his men, (All four Pawlowski approved candidates are men) can't put the city budget back into balance again.
   They are CLOWNS, not Magicians, and that is what it would take.

I watched the Mayoral "debate". I think Allentown is lost

I have written this election off. Then last night I had a choice. I could watch the paint dry in the bedroom I painted, or I could watch the debate before the Phils kicked some Blue Dodger butt.
  It was a tough decision, but my wife wanted to watch, and if I wanted peace during the Phils, I had to go along.
  About halfway through my wife turned to me and says "What planet does the mayor live on?" Were we that bad off when he took office?' If I have to hear him cry one more time about how tough his job was when he got it I will puke!"
   I don't want her puking anymore, I have had enough of that, after the infamous food poisoning weekend at the great Allentown fair.
  You know you love someone when you can clean up their puke. But that doesn't mean I want to do it all the time.
  
  So Ed Pawlowski made my wife want to puke. And people wonder why I am writing in Bob Lovett? Tony Phillips made her smile, but he still hasn't offered a plan, and that is the big deal breaker for me.
   Why did she smile? Tony Phillips made the Mayor squirm in his seat.

   Come on, really, what is the Mayor on? Whatever he is smoking that makes him so delusional about reality in the city, he should share that gold with the rest of us, maybe dump it in the water supply.
  How can he say the stuff he does with a straight face? Crime is not down. 70 new cops means we would have almost 300, not fewer than we had when Roy took office in 2001.
   The Mayor isn't even bothering to try and tell the truth. He just blinks, lies, and smiles, like a used car salesman. No wonder Schlossberg is his protege.
   Pawlowski has been telling the lies for so long he has started believing them. It happens. I see it in TV preachers all the time, and he would be a good one. I guess you could say he has sold the voters on the Gospel of Ed, sort of like Monty Python's Life of Brian, a Jesus Christ want to be.
   The problem is the Gospel according to Ed has about as much credibility as P.T. Barnum, who once decreed that a sucker is born every minute. I think one day the Circus came to Allentown and never left. We ended up electing the Clowns to run our government.

   I am back to this election being between Homey the Clown Phillips and Bozo the clown Pawlowski. I'm sticking to my decision, writing in the guy with a brain, Bob Lovett. I hate clowns. I want to send them all far away. Like to Iran.

I am Writing in Bob Lovett for mayor on November 3, because he is not a clown

    The weather around here lately is just like our choices for elected office, Crappy!

   I have been thinkin' a lot about what I was going to do voting wise, and I have decided that I am going to write in Bob Lovett for Mayor. Yada yada yada, I know, he lost to Roy back in 2001, but I can't stand either of the idiots on the ballot.

   Bob Lovett was the last guy I can remember with a brain to run for Mayor, so that is who I am writing in.
   I know he has no chance in Hell, but it is my way of using my right to vote. If you don't like it, write in your own candidate, I can't stop you, and you can't stop me. But wouldn't it be cool if we could just get like a hundred people to write in Bob Lovett as a protest against the sorry jerks we have running? Bob Lovett is not a clown, so I am voting for Bob, and I don't think I am wasting my vote, I am making a statement.

   Now back to one big class of Clowns, which includes most of the people on the  Allentown City Council ballot. I am going to be responsible for a bit of "Undervoting."
   I get to choose four of the six on the ballot, but I have decided I will only vote for two, Ray O'Connell and Joe Brudnak, working guys like me. The rest of them are not what we need, for different reasons. I like the old guy for his spunk, but I dislike him for pulling an Arlen. Hershman was in office for three decades, and I am in an anti anybody who ever served mood. Sorry Mr. Hershman.
   
   I hate slick talking politicians. I don't like Mike and Mike in the morning on ESPN radio, and I sure as hell am not going to vote for the local version of Mike and Mike. (D'amore and Schlossberg) Everytime I think the sports radio guys are yammering idiots, I hear something from his majesty Ed's two yes men and I get a headache. I think D'amore's supposed diffs with Ed are only for Show, and Schlossberg tells anyone who will listen that the Mayor endorsed him. I would be better off voting for the two ESPN morning Mike and Mike morons than the local two.

  I will probably get called a racist for this, but I think Julio Guridy is stupid, and it has nothing to do with his race. He is just stupid. He doesn't do anything but go along with whatever the Democrat mayor tells him. He did it under Roy and he still does it under Ed. I don't think he has had an original thought in eight years, all he does is the basic whatever is needed to cover his political ass. I didn't know he was on the Bridge committee, and nobody can tell me exactly what he does there, or what qualified him to be on it, other than he was buddies with Fat Ed Rendell.
   For a guy who went to college locally, he can't seem to speak or write in English with any kind of competence. My grammar isn't that great, but people can understand me when I speak. I was able to read his campaign website from the links of another blog, and many of his sentences make no sense.
   Pretty much just like his eight years on Council.

   I am writing in Bob Lovett for Mayor, and voting Ray O'Connell and Joe Brudnak for City Council.

  The rest of the Clowns can get in their clown Cars and move to Florida, New Jersey or Puerto Rico for all I care.

   

This guy Mike Schlossberg strikes me as like a Sideshow Bob.

   You ever buy a used car? When Mike Schlossberg came a knocking on our door, I felt like the guy from a used car lot was trying to sell me something. I kept wondering if he dumped a bag of sawdust on the ground where the car leaked oil to try and cover it up.

  Schlossberg was trying to be nice, but I have this thing that I think people are lying to me, or trying to sell me a bag of crap when their voice keeps getting higher when they want to sell me something I don't really need.

   I don't really need Mike Schlossberg representing me on Allentown City Council. I got the feeling that Mike Schlossberg needs to be on City Council to further his own career more than he would be doing anything to further my concerns as a taxpayer.

  It was sort of like the guy on the Used car lot. The Used car guy needs to sell me a car a hell of a lot more than I need one, and that's how this Schlossberg character came across to me.
  I think of Used car salesmen as clowns, and that is how Mike Schlossberg seems to me. I googled him and checked out his campaign website, as well as his facebook page. I saw he was endorsed by two of my not so favorite people, my State representative Jennifer manly Mann, and Mayor krusty the Klown himself, Ed Pawlowski. I tried to upload Schlossberg's picture for this post, but it failed. I haven't figured out how to do links yet either, so I guess that makes me a Blog Clown.

   I don't know who I will vote for on November 3, but I know who I am not voting for. I may write in someone for Mayor because I don't like Mayor Krusty or Candidate Homey. But I sure as hell am not voting for Sideshow Bob Schlossberg, and I won't vote for Clarabelle Hershman either.

   Time to wrap this up. Don't vote for the clowns! Don't send them to City Hall!

Allentown Library/Firing Range? Same Difference!

    This morning I read a hilarious headline in the Allentown Morning Call.

   Windows shot out at Library

   The article said that sometime between 6 PM Friday and 11 AM Monday, two windows were shot out with a BB gun at the downtown library. The estimated damage was $3000 dollars.

   I have a couple of questions on this one.

   Why would you shoot at a library? Did you lose all your money in one of the back aisle crap games?

  I am also wondering what kind of windows cost $1500 a piece? They obviously were not bulletproof, if a BB gun can bust them.

 How safe can Allentown be if the library is getting shot up on the weekends?

I've got a lot of questions, but nobody seems to have any answers. The Allentown Keystone Cops brigade is being reassigned to IRAQ er, I mean center city for another politically motivated show of force against crime, but we all know how that is going to work out, once the election is over.

   Yep, the Mayor wants to look like he's doing something, so it's time for a few well timed crack downs on the criminal elements. the Mayor is doing what you think he is doing, that's right, he's

   Sending in the Clowns!

Mayor Pawlowski Presents: Allentown Dinner Theater!

     This just in from WFMZ: Allentown has booming Restaurant/Theater District!

The Things you learn watching TV at dinner time. WFMZ had a report starring, (YOU GUESSED IT!) Mayor for Life Ed Pawlowski touting how the center city is being overrun with restaurants.

    What WFMZ neglected to show at the 5 PM newscast Tuesday was that just one block north of Hamilton Street, a fight had broken out between 25 to 30 "Yutes" on Linden Street between 7th and 8th Streets. At least 4 suffered knife wounds, and one of those needed emergency surgery at Lehigh valley Cedar Crest.

   I guess that is all part of the Cosmopolitan theater district that the Pawloski administration is trying to create. Those kids weren't engaging in a gang related incident. They were really practicing scenes from the movie and Broadway Smash, "West Side Story" and got carried away. I bet if it weren't for the accidental stabbings, WFMZ might have arrived there in time to see a pregnant 15 year old girl do her avant garde rendition of Natalie Wood's role as Maria. God knows they did a great job reenacting the end of the show up to that point, except thank God the kid hasn't died.

    Looks like the show is closing after only one off off off off Broadway performance on Linden Street.

    You know what that means it is time for.....

    Send in the Clowns!

Hockey In Allentown. Taking the slashing in the streets, and putting it on Ice

   I am scratching my head/

  We went almost three months in Pennsylvania without a State Budget. Local school districts started cutting programs daily.
  All I saw on TV was about how there was no Money for schools.

  Somehow after all that there is money for a Hockey arena in Allentown?

  WTF?

  Where did that money come from?

  Mayor Pawloski, now running unopposed, smiled for the camera and touted it as his latest success.

  Fu***n' unbelievable!

  Another day, another Dog and pony show, followed by smoke and mirrors.

  I am not amused, nor am I entertained

  Send in the Clowns. and while you are at it, figure out where to park the clown car where the Allentown parking authority can't finda reason to put a ticket on it.

Allentown Voters are screwed on November 3

   Man, this election is not funny at all. We, the good citizens of the third largest city in Taxylvania are F*cked! We have a choice between Mr. Powerpoint Presentation and Mr. Facebook Fun.

  That is no choice at all.

  I read who is running for City Council, and all I see is Yes men for Mr. Powerpoint Presentation.

 It's like Pawlowski went around the city shining his laser pointer in everybody's eyes and blinded them to the truth about Allentown's money problems.

  Pawlowski reminds me of the Pied Piper of Hamlin, and he is leading his slate of council candidates dancing happily down the road and into hell.

We are so screwed. Send in the Clowns?

Hell they are all we have on the ballot.

Circus Maximus comes to Allentown

Man, you gotta be kidding me.

The man is running for mayor and talking to some unhappy baby mama on Facebook about tossing the Salad? That is news?

I guess a city ten million dollars in the red 'taint all that big an issue. I guess impending layoffs and cutbacks on city services aren't that important.

I was in the downtown library, and they have half the lights off and no security. There was a dice game going on in the back. Like I am going to let the wife go there with the kids alone?

  But I am sure we will get a big press release announcement from Mayor Laser Pointer about the next big initiative to spur development on Hamilton Street. The only way I am ever going to get a break on my taxes is to open a brothel/spa on Hamilton Street and call it an avant garde Performance art piece.

   The Race for Allentown mayor is over, The Tony Phillips act bombed.

Send in the Clowns

The Lehigh Valley needs some humor.

I decided it was time to fill a void in the Lehigh Valley and beyond. Nobody wants to really take a shot at properly snarking many of the politicians and bureaucrats in the valley.
I volunteer to be that person! I don't have any friends anyway, so what do I have to loose?

We should be laughing at all the people who think they are important, and want to remind us everyday that we should know how important they are.

I am starting off today by commenting on Allentown Park Director Greg Weitzel's plan to save the park system he has been entrusted with, in particular, Cedar Beach between Broadway and Hamilton Boulevard.

A long time ago, the American Military adopted a strategy in Vietnam of destroying a village to save it. It was insanity, and it was abandoned.

Who would have thought of using that strategy on a beautiful Rose garden? Hell, who needs bull dozers, Greg, just go ahead and napalm the damn thing while you are at it, might get rid of the goose crap problem as well.

It kills me that proponents accuse those against the idea of making the park playground handicap accessible of being against "kids." You know, "it's always for the kids." The people against the playground are also , and say it quietly, subtly, people.... RACISTS!

Meanwhile, the anti-playground/remodel/chainsaw trees/ riparian buffers/ I don't know what the hell is going on forces say they are not racists, they only want to protect the integrity of the park, don't want it over utilized, but admit they fear for their property values.

Here is what they are really afraid of:

The folks of Allentowns' West End that live near Cedar Beach park are afraid that a gang of Hispanic kids in Wheelchairs are going to be regularly throwing down with a gang of black autistic kids, when they are not having rumbles with the ADHD white kids driving down from their trailer parks in their 1991 Dodge Dakotas.

You know it will happen, honestly, and the police won't be able to handle it.

You give autistic kids weapons, and put droolers in mechanized wheelchairs rolling down a macadam path, and you have an arcade game that the third graders with a drivers license won't be able to resist.

Greg Weitzel has declared War on park blight, if he and his grand plans are to be believed.

If you ask me, (and I know you wouldn't) all he has done is make himself look busy, but that is what bureaucrats do, right?

And where is Mayoral challenger Tony Phillips while all this is going down? This guy is hiding better than Hitler in his bunker in April of 1945.

I will get to Tony Phillips next time. As always, Lehigh Valley Politics is a circus, and it is time to Send in the Clowns.